Lily, I Love You
by emblah01
Summary: On the night Lily dies, Snape goes to see if it's really true. Snape is broken by the sight of Lily's body. NOT Lily/Snape. It's all one-sided! One shot. Rated T for darker themes. Please review!


**I wrote this a while ago and decided that I should now post it. I haven't written any Harry Potter fanfiction... Ever and J.K.'s writing to live up to and I _am_ only 14. So... Yeah...**

**P.S.: I _am_ a Jily fan, but my favourite character is Snape. I mean, I hated him at him but I can see that he has suffered a lot in his life. So, this is his POV on October 31, that day. :(**

**Disclaimer: I am not British, I am not filthy rich and I don't have an funny accent. Therefore, I am not J.K. Rowling, which means I don't own Harry Potter. **

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_In honor of Severus Snape, who loved Lily Evans until the day she died and after._

_Inspired by 'Come Home' by OneRepublic_

Severus Snape blinked stupidly, dumbfounded by the words uttered by one Albus Dumbledore.

"Dead?" he breathed. He had to be mistaken. Lily, his lovely Lily, couldn't possibly be dead.

"Dead," repeated Dumbledore, his voice solemn. There was no twinkle in his piercing, blue eyes.

Snape pressed his palms to his eyes. Dumbledore looked down at him with sympathy and pity. Severus felt just such; pathetic. It was all his fault; he didn't have a right to grieve. "Go see her," he whispered.

"No, she's gone! Dead!" Snape shouted. He felt the guilt weigh down on him, like some unknown force was pressing down on him. If only he hadn't heard that damn prophecy, Lily would be alive. _Lily, don't go, I love you..._

"Go," Dumbledore said sternly. Snape stared at him through the tears in black, pit-like eyes. He nodded and turned quickly on the spot.

The squeezing, suffocating feeling of Apparation coursed around his body. There was a cracking sound, like a gunshot, and he appeared on the worn, cobble-stone streets of Godric's Hollow. He stumbled down the street, his vision distorted by grief. He stopped at a small, destroyed house, down McLean Drive. The white outer walls of the humble building were blown in and debris was scattered across the lawn. He choked on a sob and bit his fist to keep from waking the Muggles that were still asleep with his pathetic cries of anguish. He stumbled into the yard and wrenched open the door to the house, so hard it fell off its hinges. He ran through the house desperately and stopped at the sight of James Potter's body. He swallowed and tried to feel something, anything, for the man dead on the floor before him. He had tortured him for years, berated him, destroyed his self-worth. Shouldn't he feel glad that he was dead? Or perhaps he should feel incredible sadness because no creature, good or bad, deserved the wrath of Lord Voldemort? No, Severus Snape felt none of those emotions. Like an empty container. But then he thought of Lily, his lovely Lily and just felt guilt; incredible, weighing guilt.

He stepped over the body carefully, swallowing the bitter, thick taste of bile from the sight of the dead body, and continued his trip to the second level of the house. Each new step seemed to weigh down on him like the weight of the sky. He forced himself up the stairs, tripping and stumbling on his dirty, black robes. Tears were falling freely onto his cheeks now. He heard a baby's cry come from the bedroom at the end of the hall. It seemed that no one had come to take little Harry Potter away yet. He scanned the room and his eyes settled on the distorted figure of Lily Evans. Her beautiful, green eyes were wide from fright and horror, like they had been when she was murdered, her skin cold and translucent from death. Her flame-red hair hung over her face in strands, like a curtain that had been cut to shreds by claws.

Snape stumbled backwards and leaned against the wall for support. _Lily, Lily, Lily..._ he chanted over and over in his mind, an unending litany of denial of her death. Sobs escaped his mouth, desperate, pained sobs. He slid down the wall, unable to support himself any longer. The grief washed over him like a tidal wave, like he had been thrown under the water in the raging ocean. Tossed and turned around by the waves, fumbling for something to grip onto to gain stability. An ocean of grief, that seemed accurate enough.

Baby Harry looked at him with curiosity, as if he didn't understand that his mother was dead. Perhaps he thought she was just taking a nap. Oh, how Severus wished that were the case. Snape curled his hands into fists and pressed them to his eyes, as if it would take away the sight of Lily's crippled, dead body, though he knew in his heart that the image would forever be ingrained in his mind. He knew that the image would haunt him for the rest of his life.

A lock of greasy, obsidian hair fell onto his face, brushing his right fist lightly, like a quill brushing his hand. Like when Lily and he were studying in the library and they started having a sword fight with their quills. Lily's eleven-year-old face danced in front of his eyes. A wide, gleaming smile spread across her face, a twinkle in her emerald eyes. Not like they were now, glazed over and lifeless. The sobs overcame him. They consumed his mind, his body, his entire being. They were his reality and his fantasy.

"No, no, no, no..." he chanted under his breath, as if those words could somehow bring Lily back. "Please come back. Please, Lily! I need you! I don't care if you stay with Potter. I don't care if you choose him over me. I just want you alive. Please, please, please, please, please, please..."

He heard a thump come from the living room. It seemed that someone had come to take Harry away, whether the force be good or bad. He felt a surge of pity for the boy; he would be hunted for the rest of his life. This pity dissipated quickly as he took one last look at the boy; tufts of already-messy black hair, a skinny frame that would later be muscular. He was already a living replica of the dead man downstairs.

He heard a wail come from the floor below him and knew it was time to leave. He quickly attempted to compose himself, but soon found it impossible, and turned on the spot and Disapparated to where Dumbledore told him to meet. But, before he left, he said three little words he never had the courage to say to Lily when she was alive, "I love you."

And with that, he disappeared back into the real world.

_R.I.P. Severus Snape_

_January 9, 1960 ~ May 2, 1998_

'_Always.'_

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**Oh! And yes, I do know that this doesn't follow the book. Like, this was never mentioned and that Dumbledore is SO OOC. Yeah... He's just really hard to write and I just don't know if I could write him, even if I tried.**

**Okay, so review!**

**~Lou**

**P.S. (Again): If you like Percy Jackson and the Olympians, specifically Percy/Annabeth, check out my ten other stories! They are so fluffly, you'll puke your guts out! ;)**


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